


Bad Memories

by sundae_dere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundae_dere/pseuds/sundae_dere
Summary: Dave has a bad dream. Karkat helps him through it.





	Bad Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first public fic (yay!!!). Please be nice to me; I’m a scared noob.

Every so often, you’ll get random memories. Remember little snippets from doomed timelines, from Daves that aren’t you. Sometimes, it’s random mundane bullshit, things you can tell other yous are doing before they figure out that they somehow fucked up.

Most times it’s pretty scarring, though.

If there’s one thing you’ve seen a lot of, it’s dead Dave’s. It honestly doesn’t faze you much anymore. No. What gets you is seeing how many different ways your friends can die if you fail.

Karkat has been a trooper about it, though, thank god. Ever prepared to deal with your bullshit in all its forms, he holds you when you need to be held, gives you space, whatever gets you to calm down. He’s so patient with you, and you swear to god, that’s really what’s been keeping you sane. His complete willingness to go through this with you, to be there for you... You couldn’t be more grateful.

On this particular night, on which you have awoken suddenly from one of the worse memories you’ve come across, Karkat stirs beside you. His eyes open slowly to look at you, and the sleepiness in them would be adorable were it not for the tightness in your chest and the racing of your heart. You realize, as he sits up (slowly, so he doesn’t freak you out even more) and lightly takes your hand, that your breathing is all out of whack, too.

He takes you through the breathing exercises you taught him for this purpose, breathing in and out deeply and steadily, giving you words of encouragement. You squeeze his hand as you follow suit.

Eventually, you calm down. Karkat studies you with a look of worry that you can barely see in the dark. You nod reassuringly, heaving one last sigh.

“I’m ok.”

His face softens into one of relief as he strokes his thumb across the back of your hand, reminding you that you still have a death grip on his. You loosen your hold, and you can see a bit of tension leave his shoulders.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks you tentatively, his voice a little scratchy from just having woken up.

Your heart pounds in your chest uncomfortably at the prospect of going into detail and possibly also another panic. But then you remind yourself that it’s just Karkat. You tell him everything; it wouldn’t feel right keeping this from him, especially considering he played a big role in this particular nightmare. Plus, you know if you kept it to yourself, it would only nag you in the back of your mind and make you isolate yourself. That is the opposite of progress and the opposite of cool, you tell yourself.

You nod, and he gives your hand a light squeeze. You take some time to put your words together before you say them, because right now is not the time to spew random bullshit out of your cake-hole.

“It was Jack,” you finally say, before deciding to add, “You were there.”

You sense him stiffen a little, but otherwise he keeps his cool at the mention of the one who betrayed him. He nods for you to keep going.

“He...he caught up to us—well, other us—before we got to the new session, and he... Vriska did a pretty good job of holding him off, at first, but. We didn’t stand a chance. We ran off to hide, you and me. I knew that even if he didn’t get us, the timeline was doomed anyway, so sooner or later we were royally fucked.

“We just. We just lied there, together. Holding each other as close as we could. And...you know. Eventually, the door opened, but. That’s when I, uh, woke up.” You sit there, staring down at the bedsheets and appreciating Karkat’s hold on your hand grounding you. He gives it another squeeze.

When he puts his other hand on your face, you finally look up at him. His smile is one of absolute fondness and sympathy, one you know he saves just for you.

“I really appreciate you talking to me about it,” he murmurs, because he knows it’s hard. He knows how difficult it is for you. “You know that’s not going to happen to us, right?” he continues as reassuringly as possible.

You go to speak, but your voice catches in your throat, so you nod instead, clearing your throat.

“Yeah,” your voice breaks, “yeah, but—it’s just—it happened to _them_. To a _different_ us. It...” it sounds stupid, you know it does, but you can’t shake the sick feeling the memory gives you.

You try to stop thinking so hard about their situation, and focus on yours. They’re just another couple of ghosts in the dream bubbles, now, you tell yourself, and in turn try not to think about the possibility of meeting them in your sleep.

Karkat shushes you gently, and you’re confused before you realize you’ve started crying. Unable to hold yourself together in his presence, you let the sobs overtake you and bury your face in his shoulder. He holds you tightly, and you weakly wrap your arms around his waist.

As you start to calm down, he rubs your back soothingly, and you’re grateful. It gives you something to focus on. You match your breathing to the steady movement of his hand. In. Out. In. Out. You’re a bit shaky, still, but it helped.

Karkat nuzzles you, murmuring sweet nothings into your hair, kissing your temple, things he’s been doing more often lately. Especially at times like this, when it’s dark and you’re both vulnerable, and his aggressive exterior melts into one of compassion and understanding. You cling to him, surround yourself with the feeling of him, drown in him.

When you’re completely calm again, you focus on the gentle rise and fall of his chest and let out a sigh of content exhaustion.

“I fuckin love you, man,” you mumble groggily into Karkat’s shoulder.

He chuckles and brings up one hand to comb through your hair.

“I love you, too.”

After that, with your arms wrapped tightly around each other and Karkat filling your senses, it’s easy to fall into a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism would be appreciated!


End file.
